Huh.

Apr. 9th, 2007 03:12 pm
luciab: (Default)
Well, I'm at least semi-officially allergic to something. Definitive, huh? I went to a doc-in-a-box about the congestion in my head; despite the sound effects and dizziness yesterday (eased by Sudafed) I was about half convinced I was imagining it (it's all in my head! Ha!) so I felt moderately vindicated when the doctor agreed with me. She gave me samples and prescriptions, along with a note for my teacher. Yep, a note for my teacher. I felt like a ten-year-old.

I wrote to said teacher yesterday explaining that I'm concerned about being able to finish the research proposal on time since I've had so many migraines the last couple of weeks, and now the ear thing. She replied that if I needed to turn the paper in late, I'd need a note. So, by golly, I got a note.

Since I'm not contagious, I decided to drop by the hospital and see Gene. There I discovered that he's been moved out of ICU. Yay! Big relief for everyone, I'm sure. He was pretty restless and not entirely clear of the drugs, which have him a little disoriented. It made for a highly entertaining visit, at least. I didn't stay long; I just wanted to say hi to Beth and see how he's doing. Beth is so excited she's practically beside herself.

So. Even though I have the note from the doctor for my paper, I'd better get cracking and not put this off any longer. I"m oozing dread here.

le sigh

Mar. 16th, 2007 09:21 am
luciab: (susan 3rd grade)
Yesterday is a prime example of my brain on Imitrex. (Oh, geez, no, don't tell me those stupid ads are true...) Between the migraine and the effects of the chemicals, it's clearly not a pretty picture. This morning the first thing I checked was how much space is left on my hard drive (over 30 GB-- yesterday I couldn't for the life of me figure out how to do that) and I figured out that it wasn't storage the message was talking about but memory because I had too much stuff open. Still, it seems wrong that when I told it to empty the trash it was telling me the files were locked. There were only 700 items actually in the trash but it said there were 30,000 items to delete, and it kept saying it can't delete this or that file because it's locked. That sounds more like cache to me, but why would it be trying to delete cache? I am beginning to suspect a virus.

Still, the fact that I am coherent enough to figure this out when I've only been awake less than an hour bodes well for my thinking processes today. Big improvement!

And a good thing, too, because Mother called last night to say hi and ask when I have projects due so she can avoid calling to distract me right before. When I checked, I realized that I have stuff due a lot sooner than I thought. Ooops! The call was very disturbing for other reasons, though. Mother was all perky-cheerful at first but suddenly she lowered her voice and said, "I'm in the kitchen now. James takes it by spells," which is an old-fashioned/ country/ mountain way of saying he's sharper some days than others. She didn't elaborate, but I knew exactly what she meant. Daddy may be better some days, but he's also very fuzzy some days. Apparently one of his tells is that he puts his clothes on wrong-- at first he'd try to put a sweatshirt on as pants, but lately he's been putting his t-shirt on over top of his buttoned flannel shirt. Mother says he sleeps most of the time, sitting in front of the TV. After his surgery, when he was so terribly confused all the time, someone told us that elderly people sometimes take six months to fully recover from the disorientation. Well, it's now been a little over five. My experience is that stuff like this gets better gradually; it doesn't go from 60 mph to 0 in 10' or less. Seems like months 3 and 4 showed the most improvement, though the last month he's been driving a little. Frankly, that scares the hell out of me. I have to trust that if he gets up and put his clothes on wrong that Mother will know it's not going to be a driving sort of day and call someone else to take her for her errands.

I also realized that I need to be calling more often. She's starting to get concerned, scared, depressed-- all those things, and lord knows it's a perfectly reasonable reaction. She's kept telling herself he'd be better in six months and now the six months is nearly gone and he's still putting his clothes on wrong. The woman who lives across the street from them just had to move from her condo to the assisted living apartments, and she didn't want to go. The apartments are nice, but obviously smaller, and she can't have a garden, which she loves, and she's lost that independence. Mother made a comment a little bit ago about them moving there, but she's not happy about it either. It's not in the immediate future, which is a good thing. There must be a crew on staff that helps move people, because they're sure not going to be able to do all the packing and such themselves. Mother and Daddy say everyone who lives in the development calls the whole place "the reservation" which I think is pretty damn funny.

Today I'm beginning to admit that this may be as good as it gets for Daddy. All the furniture that he was planning to make isn't going to happen. All the little helpful things he's done for the widow ladies will have to be done by someone else. He won't be taking care of the strawberry plants and delivering fresh berries to favored neighbors. Mother has become better about taking care of things, which is good. I am feeling guilty because I'm not the good selfless daughter who goes to take care of them in the longstanding tradition. People used to just do that sort of thing without apparent consideration for their own lives. Did they not get depressed at giving up their own plans and friends? Was that always the assumption so it didn't come as a surprise? Have we gotten so selfish that we aren't willing to give up our own priorities to take care of the people who raised us? Much of this is moderated in my case because they are in an assisted living community, and there are friends who still drive and can help Mother run errands. I know that if I moved back, I'd be even more depressed than I already am, which is bad enough. And at least for the moment, running errands is about all I could help with. Somehow it doesn't seem like a good enough reason.

Well. Now I've gotten myself all in a mood and I still have assignments to do. Time to pick myself up, give myself a metaphorical shake and get to work. Whee.
luciab: (Default)
Damn, I don't know what I have, but I'm glad I only have half of it. I still don't have major nose-blowing, chest-wracking-cough type symptoms, but I went to the grocery for a few things and was absolutely shaky by the time I got back to the car. Took all the energy I had to haul 4 not-full plastic grocery bags upstairs.

Contractors are putting drywall over the plaster in the hall outside my back door, which is the wall of my studio. They're drilling screws in and the sound is every bit as delightful as you might imagine it to be, what with the lingering half-a-migraine that's going along with the half-a-cold. It adds up to a full bucket-o-joy, I tell you.

Quote of the day: "I am sensitive," intoned Gentian, reminded irresistibly of her Latin class, "you are nervy, she's nutty as a fruitcake." (From Juniper, Gentian, and Rosemary, by Pamela Dean.) I'm sensitive, you're nervy, she's nutty as a fruitcake. I like it.

ugh

Jan. 28th, 2007 05:14 pm
luciab: (Default)
So. On Saturday I had class, and found out more about our first assignment, due in two weeks. I'm still not feeling like I have a good idea what I want to do. There has been some sort of problem with the Blackboard program through which my other structured class is offered, but it's now apparently working again, and there's homework on there, too. And on Tuesday I have a meeting scheduled with the librarian in charge of the Preservation department and thus the Book Repair section where I'm doing my practicum. I'm trying to get my notes and pictures of what I've been doing and learning organized and printed to show him. In other words, the homework part of the semester has kicked in with a vengeance.

On Friday I had a sore throat but yesterday it was okay. Today it's sore again, and my eyes are dry and my nose is runny--and I have a nagging migraine, to boot. I've been trying to listen to music while I work on the practicum stuff, but since I'm using a graphics program as well as Word, trying to play music on the computer too has slowed things down so much I had to abandon it. Too bad, because it was helping to keep me going.

Tomorrow I am volunteering at the library; last week I did lots of running, shelving, moving around. If this really is a cold as I suspect, tomorrow is going to be most unpleasant.

This is just SO not shaping up well.
luciab: (Default)
I got some stuff done today, but not as much as I should have. Isn't that always the way? Obviously I'm not one of those "busy!" people you should give work to because they'll always get it done. See? Method to my madness.

So today I saw the doctor about the suddenly elevated cholesterol. Guess what-- she couldn't say why it went up instead of down despite all the diet-awareness, except "genetics." Okay, then. Bring on the pills. And apparently statins are really good for some other things too, so it's all good. She went to get me some samples and when she came back in I heard someone in the hall offer her sympathy. I must have looked quizzical, because she explained. Seems her mother died two weeks ago, after having surgery, infection?? and then hospital-induced psychosis, I think she said. That makes a lot more sense to me now than it would have 15 months ago. Anyway, while her mother was having this episode, her father had a heart attack; he's apparently doing reasonably well, though. Then her father's sister had some kind of surgery, and the doctor herself had some kind of alarm that turned out to be benign. I tell you, I was embarrassed to have bitched about a few exams and papers. Wow. What's a few exams and some elevated cholesterol, anyway?

I went shopping for a digital camera as a reward for getting other errands done. I had my Consumer Reports printout clutched firmly in my hand..... and, as usual, the store didn't have a single one of the cameras they reviewed. The first clerk I had was really good and got curious-- he looked everyone of them up on the computer, and they not only didn't have them in the store, they don't carry them at all. I started looking at other cameras, wanting to try some out, and see how they felt, etc, and he said another clerk knew more about cameras than he did, so the other guy came over. He may have known more about cameras, but he knew shit about sales. He was of the too-cool-for-school variety and didn't want to waste his time with me. Too bad... I came home and did some more research online. There were a couple that I liked the looks of. I suspect I could shop forever, hoping to get exactly the right balance of cost and features, but since I don't understand half of what I'm reading, I'd have to first learn everything about everything, and screw that. Patience is not my virtue for today. There's only so much research you can do, and then you just have to hold your nose and jump. Anyway, I think that's going to be my gift to myself this year. Yay! And it's just the right size, too!

I did get confirmation today that I'm on track to graduate in the spring. Wahootie. For some reason I got nervous about that and felt the need to check.

Also did my Baronial polling today. I must be in quite the mood.... I pretty much just wrote down what I thought. Not rude, but I didn't go to as much trouble as usual to be Southern-polite about everything. "How nice!" wasn't on there anywhere. Just call me Lucia the Tactless. Hey, Venice is in the north of Italy, okay?

weird

Dec. 8th, 2006 12:11 pm
luciab: (Default)
I just got a moderately alarming phone call. Last time I had a checkup my cholesterol came back borderline high, so I've been minding my p's and q's. Haven't seen beef in so long it might as well be a fantasy; I've been eating those fake eggs with no yolks, I'm down to 1/2% milk, taking those fish oil supplements (not in the mood to eat fish lately, no idea why) and I'd swear that I've been good. Honest. Went for a follow up blood test yesterday and today's phone call is that I need to come in for an appointment STAT because my cholesterol is extremely elevated. WTF? How the hell can it be higher than it was before?

On a much more positive note, I only have 6 days left on my prescription month for my Imitrex, but have over a half month's worth of pills left. I can't tell you how happy that makes me. Of course, I've had a migraine since Tuesday and this morning I woke up completely cross-eyed, but still.... it's been much less frequent.
luciab: (Default)
I am in the workroom, where I spend approximately 4 of the 5 hours I work every day. There is no window, and no connection to any other workspace. In other words, unless someone else is in the workroom, I am completely isolated the whole time. Most times there is a coworker back here, too, but at least one day a week, and several days over the last week or two, there has been nobody. Worst of all? I can't play internet radio and I HAVE NO MUSIC. Man, it makes a long day, even if it's only 5 hours.

In happier news, I saw the dermatologist today about an itchy spot on my back that was dark and irregularly shaped, and I had some trepidation about it. She said it was nothing to worry about and sprayed the HELL out of it with a freezing thing. Yay, me! It was a relief, especially since a friend just had a mass removed and then got one of Those Calls from the doctor; you know, where the nurse won't tell you anything but that you need to come in. Major anxiety.

on and on

Nov. 8th, 2005 01:41 pm
luciab: (Default)
I'm feeling better today, and I am SO happy about it. The tooth hardly hurts at all, though I have no ambitions to chew on that side any time soon. Talk about lack of ambition!

I called my drug store today to refill my Imitrex before I leave for KY, only to find that the insurance will not pay for it because it's two days early. Never mind that I'm going to be out of the state. Nope, not one minute early. I don't have quite enough to make it through the week without a refill, so I get to have the prescription transferred up there, and then transferred back next month. Whee. At least I'm not going to be out in the woods somewhere, with no access to a drugstore. That would make me really annoyed.

The "check engine" light that came on in my car was because I didn't have the gas cap screwed on tight enough. Who knew? It has to click two or three times when I tighten it down. Oh, and once the light comes on and I tighten it down, it takes "a couple of days" to "reset" itself.

I stocked up on books today-- both hard copy and audio-- for my trip. I was moderately indescriminate in my selection of books, but rather more selective for the audio ones. I didn't see any LIT-ra-ture ones today that sounded remotely interesting, so it's all mysteries.

I just talked to NCCU to find out when they're sending out letters of acceptance/rejection for Library school, and they said those letters should go out this week. So, I should know something official soon. That'll be good.

whew!

Nov. 7th, 2005 02:22 pm
luciab: (lucia)
Well, I survived the root canal, despite the fact that he didn't provide happy gas. I was astonished. I mean, if one of the main things you did was root canals, for god's sake, wouldn't you think that sedation would be a Good Thing(TM)? What they do, though, is call in a prescription for a pill that you take before you go in, and then have someone drive you there and take you home. I guess it saves on his insurance, but it's otherwise a pain in the ass, requiring that TWO people are discombobulated. They apparently expect everyone to have a Wife.

And actually, the dentist told the truth when he said it wouldn't hurt. The nerve is dead, he said, so it can't hurt.

To which my response was, Yeah, that's what they told me about the last root canal, too.

Whereupon the silly man said And was that true?

NO.
was all I could say. I was near tears. He talked me down, though. He swore that if it hurt at all, all I had to do was raise my hand and he'd give me another shot and make it stop hurting. To which my attitude was, I have never yet had a dentist be able to completely numb a tooth when they were drilling. They give me shots and more shots, and finally say, That can't be hurting, and I can't give you anything else. It won't be much longer. Just hang on. So you see why I was suspicious, since the bit about "it can't be hurting" was so much wishful thinking on their part.

They brought me a blanket, (yeah, really!) and let me choose the music station on the satellite radio, so the whole office was treated to music from the '40's. It was supposed to be swing, but it was mostly kinda sappy standards with very little swing to them. The CD I made Saturday was designed for listening when I feel good, whether chemically induced or not, so it was completely inappropriate in the event. I think I'll love it for driving, though.

All this is only to say that the drilling really was completely painless. And I get to go back for him to check it again and put in a temporary filling, and then I get to go to the regular dentist for him to take out he temp filling and put in a permanent filling. Whoopee. The tooth is hurting now worse than it did before, just from the trauma of all the drilling and everything (Hey, he said it, not me) and my jaw feels like it's all swollen up. Ick.

In other news of joy and delight, the check engine light has come on in my car, so I have to take it in for service before I go back to KY. This is where my first hubby would say, "If it weren't for bad luck, I wouldn't have any luck at all." Well, actually, he would have said that when he spilled a drop of milk, never mind any of the rest of this. No matter that the last week and a half has been crappy, though, I absolutely detest that attitude, so I am not saying that. It just reminded me, that's all.

And I've eaten my tasty soup for lunch (No chewing involved) and had some really tasty pumpkin bars for dessert, and now I get to work on stuff that has to be done before I leave again.
luciab: (Default)
Mother called tonight to give me the latest on Aunt S. She's doing much better, apparently. She sat in a chair for 3-1/2 hours today, and 4 hours yesterday. Great news! Bad news is, they have put a feeding tube back in because she's not eating enough to keep her alive. They might move her out of ICU tomorrow and to a regular room. This hospital doesn't have any sort of halfway "critical care" unit-- it's either ICU or a standard room. As soon as she gets moved to a standard room, Mother and Daddy plan for one of them to stay with her 24/7 so they can be there to help if she needs anything. That means that I need to get back up there ASAP, but of course now that I have the root canal scheduled for tomorrow, Mother is telling me not to rush. Mother doesn't drive, so she can't go over by herself, and they are trying to figure out how to get her over there and then back when Daddy is going to stay. So I really DO need to get up there and start driving again.

I understand the need, and I know it's important, but I still dread it no end. I feel so completely isolated up there. Well, I guess that's realistic, because I AM isolated up there. My phone is fixed now, though, so that might help. And I sweartogod, I'm going to write critical phone numbers on a piece of old-fashioned paper and put it in my wallet, so if all my technology dies again, I'll at least be able to call on the land line from the 'rent's house. Even that doesn't help a lot, though. I miss my cats, mainly. (I have already turned into a cat lady. Sigh. Well, no one else gazes adoringly into my eyes and purrs at me, so what do you expect?) And of course, having no computer makes life difficult, too. I'm going to see if the local library has computers so I can get online. Now THAT would help. I'm starting to regret that I didn't get a laptop.

Nia and Brigida issued separate invitations for stuff today, and I went to both. Very pleasant. Now if I had just gotten done what I needed to do... I gotta say, I did need some face time, though.

I made a mix CD to take to the dentist tomorrow. It's all uptempo stuff, mostly oldies, but with some recent discoveries that I love thrown in. It'll be great to sing along with in the car, too. It starts off with "No Satisfaction" and ends with "My Sharona," with some Elvis, the Everly Brothers, Johnny Cash, Janis, Linda Ronstadt, Beach Boys and much, much more thrown in. Whee! The appointment may suck, but it'll suck with good music.

dread...

Nov. 4th, 2005 06:54 pm
luciab: (Default)
The bad tooth isn't hurting yet, exactly, but it throbs for a few minutes after I eat anything. It's like a warning of what might come and it's making me anxious. It's like waiting for the other shoe to drop, and I've got two more days before I see the dentist. I am SO not amused.

On the other hand, the cats have been completely delightful. Last night, for the first time in her entire nine years, Molly jumped up into my lap when I was at the computer, and stayed there for a half hour or so. At first she stood there like she was about to leap at any moment but finally settled down. This in addition to washing Carmen's face. If she's been replaced by a Pod Cat, at least it's a friendly one!
luciab: (Default)
Okay, let's just get the worst of this over with and then I'll feel better. I think.

grisly details )
The best news of the week is that Aunt Susan made it through heart surgery on Tuesday and hip surgery two or three days later. On Monday they got her out of bed for a couple of hours and I brushed her hair and put it up for her. On Tuesday she didn't do so well. Her heart started beating irregularly and her kidneys weren't doing so well. It seemed to me she lost most of the gains she'd made. I stopped in to see her yesterday before I hit the highway and they said she was doing about the same. The PTs are coming in and working with her every morning, and they moved her to a chair before I left. She's not much interested in eating and isn't able to eat much when she does try.

I've decided that staying with my parents and trying to take them places is like herding dust bunnies. They're little and wispy and vague and go drifting off at random. It's hard as hell to get them corralled and going in the same direction. Just when you get one cornered and ready to scoop up, the other one vanishes. And they're my parents, for god's sake, so I can't fuss at them like I would at kids. Daddy is particularly bad for remembering something he needs to do at the last minute.

more family stuff )
I took a bunch of books to read while I was there and finished most all of them. I had trouble with the ones that were set in alternate realities; hell, I was having enough trouble hanging on to my own. I think that at another time I will like Pattern Recognition by William Gibson, but last week it was beyond my comprehension. I did better with straightforward mysteries that didn't require any deep thought at all. Most of the mysteries in Mother's collection go too far that way and border on fluffy (if they don't dive into it head first), but I wound up reading several when my stash ran out. Yeesh.

I took several books on tape for the drive up and back. I started a mystery by an author I have liked in print but didn't like at all on tape. She kept going off on digressions and I wanted to yell "Get on with it!" I finally decided it wasn't going to get better, so I switched to The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime by Mark Haddon. Mostly I loved it. It was written in the first person and the writer is supposed to be slightly autistic. From what little I know about it, I think the author did a fantastic job of conveying that reality. Occasionally it got on my nerves; I felt kind of guilty when I got annoyed with the repetition. I'd still call it a Good Read. On the way back, I put on Practical Magic. I'm actually not finished with it yet. It started out sllllloooooowwwwwwwly, but I was still enjoying it enough that I kept listening. It was just pleasant. I didn't really think anything was going to happen, particularly. On disc 6 of 8, she whipped out the hook that got me on the edge of the seat, and made me really glad I'd hung on. I'm not sure why it took quite that long, but hey. It was a long drive. Depending on how it comes out, I think I'll designate it a Good Read. So far I've been able to accept her convention of Love At First Sight, though I think in reality there's no such thing. Hell, the book is about magic, though, so I'll let her get away with it.

I think what has put me off fiction for so long is fear of preachiness. It has taken some sort of trick to suck me in, at least so far, but once I'm hooked with good writing, they can tell me whatever they are trying to about the human condition. I still don't quite have the nerve to start a fiction book with no gimmicks-- no mystery, no magic, no time travel. Maybe if I keep at it...

Well, as hoped, writing has proved therapeutic and I feel somewhat better. I did get my phone fixed this morning, though all the numbers stored were lost. I feel like I'm back in the world again, though, so that's good.

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Susan Arthur

February 2011

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