luciab: (comma sutra)
Not an exciting day. I suppose I should be grateful for that. Not a particularly good day, either. I woke up at 5 with a migraine, AFTER taking an Imitrex last night before I went to bed, because I could feel it starting even then. I only slept 4 or 5 hours, and that includes feeling the migraine every time I woke up. I wanted to take a nap this morning after the second Imitrex kicked in but the caffeinated coffee I took for medicinal purposes foiled that scheme, except for dozing off for a couple of minutes while I was reading whatever bad book I had in my hand. At least I know that author isn't worth checking out again.

Before I forget it, I wantI have an appointment to thank [ profile] wakeupmagy for her recommendation awhile back for a treatment for cold sores-- I got some l-lysine at Whole Foods, and damn! That stuff worked, literally overnight. I forgot to take it with me when I went out the next day and the swelling came back a little, but it was pretty much over with. Yay for that!

I was an impetuous woman yesterday. My iPod, upon which I have come to rely, wouldn't turn on one time too many. If modern gadgets can have loose connections, I swear this one did. It worked, it didn't work, totally at random. It was fine yesterday morning, but in the afternoon, no dice. Having recently received a check for three months of disability from the state, I said tohellwithitall and stopped at the Apple store, which just happens to be conveniently located between the Book Repair lab and my house. Convenient, eh? I was originally lusting after the cute little Nano, but when I realized that the regular size iPod provided three times as much storage space for the same price, I abandoned "cute" in a heartbeat. Screw cute, give me more music. And just like the nice man at the store promised, it "recognized" almost all the music on my computer as being mine, or assumed since it was on there, and it was bonding for the first time, it must be okay, or something, and loaded everything. Except one Lyle Lovett song, for some bizarre reason. Just the one song. So I've been playing with my new toy, which of course led me to play with my iTunes and set up some more playlists and such. Fun.

I have an appointment on Saturday with a doctor to see if I'm disabled enough for Social Security, which as we've already discussed, I know I'm not. Still, I'll play their silly games and go. As I said to someone this morning, I have no idea whether this guy will give me a cursory once over before telling me "Nope" or whether he'll examine me in excruciating detail before saying "No."

A mental health professional recommended yesterday that I only work halftime instead of full time, in the interest of not provoking the migraines to greater heights. Since the disability guarantees me a certain amount of income whether I work or not, (as long as it isn't the job that made me sick in the first place-- not bloody likely!!) that makes a great deal of sense. I think getting out and working some will help keep me sane(r) but I hadn't really considered all the ramifications of this whole disability thing. I have been blithely assuming that I'll be able to do a less stressful job as long as I keep taking my Imitrex, but there's no real guarantee of that, or that this will be less stressful, for that matter. Maybe it'll be the same amount of stress but in a different way. Joy! It's given me a lot to think about. In between thinking about the papers I have to write, and the random other assignments, and of course, most important of all, squeezing in time for a scroll blank or two for Coronation. I mean, let's keep our priorities straight here.

Now that the Imitrex has kicked in, I've had lunch and a couple of winks of nap, I think I feel alert enough to work on one of the random assignments, so I'll start writing now.


Feb. 27th, 2007 08:48 pm
luciab: (Default)
Damn, I'm tired. I worked at the book repair lab today for six hours and then spent three hours doing research. Don't feel too sorry for me, though (as if you were going to, anyway); I stopped at Akashi on the way home and treated myself to sushi. I got my back pay check today for three months worth of disability payments so I could afford it. Yay!

I was a busy little bee at the lab today. I wasn't too happy with some of the results, but the woman who was working with me today was reassuring; she was very impressed with how much I got done, says everything is fine and nothing needs to be redone. It's just not perfect, is all, and as you all know, if I do it, it's supposed to be perfect. (Unrealistic, much?)

I got smarter about doing the research, too. I looked up source books ahead of time to find the call numbers, which made life much simpler. I have this set of questions all done except one; if all else fails I'll look up Marie Leveau in a plain old encyclopedia or online on Google or something. Geez. Wouldn't you think she'd be in the Biographical Dictionary of American Cult and Sect leaders? Or, failing that, you'd think that Swami Sivanandra would be in some sort of reference, like maybe the Historical Dictionary of Hinduism? Something, somewhere?

I will admit that I'm learning stuff I didn't know from doing these assignments. I've never been a big student of religion, so didn't even know that Yoga was part of Hinduism, nor did I know about Demeter and Persephone; I'm picking up all sorts of new stuff. I will say, though, that I was bemused to find that if a Muslim doesn't face Mecca when praying it doesn't count. And by "face Mecca" I don't mean just generally east somewhere, it's gotta be exact. Only if a man is completely out in the wilderness alone can he use his best judgement and certain guidelines to determine which is the correct direction. The book didn't say what a woman should do in such a case. I hereby affirm that I now have even less interest in becoming Muslim than I did before I read that. I mean, that is one persnickety almighty, who won't even listen if you are facing the wrong direction. Damn.

I'm starting to fear that despite my preference to NOT do reference work, I might wind up doing it anyway; for one thing it probably doubles my chances of finding a job. If we assume (and I have NO idea about real proportions here) that there are reference librarians, children's librarians, and "readers services" librarians (I think that's what they're calling the people who work in circulation, popular fiction, etc, nowadays.... I should know this, right? Sigh.) in approxmiately equal proportions. That would mean two of the three instead of just one of the three are possibilities. Wonder what proportion tech services is? Very small, I'm sure. Anyway, there are six jobs open in Durham County right now, and three are reference, and three are children's. I'm gonna have to think about this.

Not tonight though. I'm too tired to think about anything tonight.
luciab: (Default)
practicum log )

fear and trembling in Kentucky )

pick up and delivery )

going in style )

Guess it's time to get back to work on the log. Wellll.... maybe after I throw together a soup in the slow cooker. Heh. I can be a SUCH a master procrastinator.
luciab: (Default)
It was a raucous day at work today. Being back in the workroom, I missed most of it, thank god, but everyone out front agreed that it's definitely a full moon.

The director of the library kicked a guy out for watching live-action (with real moving action) porn on the computer in front of her office door, where she could see it from her desk. Another guy went verbally ballistic because we didn't have an internet connection for a couple of hours-- he thought we should shut down all the computers till the internet was back up. Never mind those other silly people who want to do something besides surf the net. He was so pissed that he chewed out two different librarians upstairs, went downstairs and chewed out two OTHER librarians, and finally called the head of the entire county system to complain. Several other people apparently went ballistic over random other things today, but as I say, I missed most of it, being in the back.

Still, one of the librarians who was in the work room looked at me and said "Are you sure you want to be a librarian?" and I had to say, "Well, some days I do wonder. While being an architect was stressful, at least no one pissed in the chairs in the office." Which is true, and it's also true that we had that exact problem last week. Another librarian chipped in that once she had to put on gloves and pick up fecal matter in a library where she worked, and everybody in the room was laughing about all the things they don't teach in library school.

"So," I asked. "Are you saying that when we get our MLS they should hand us a pooper-scooper with our diploma?" Laughter and agreement ensued.

One reassuring thing, though.... another student in the information-seeking class came to me today to see if I could help clarify the questions on the assignment I've been bitching about. She helped me some, I helped her some. We were both terribly relieved to know that others seemed to be having the same problems. She was debating writing to the teacher with questions, and I encouraged her to do that, on the theory that if that many of us don't understand, maybe the teacher needs to know there's a problem. Besides the help we were able to give each other, we were also able to get help from one of the librarians in the work room. (I think everybody was hiding out in there as much as possible today.) Between all of us together, we may be able to cobble this thing together. My mood is considerably lighter at the moment. Of course, I haven't gone back and tried to actually finish the damn thing. I'm going to enjoy this feeling as long as I can. Heh.

Okay, off to fix dinner. Then I'll try to finish the Damn Thing.


Jul. 5th, 2006 09:01 pm
luciab: (Default)
Damn, I'm so tired it took me six tries to type the word "whupped" in the subject line, and I won't even tell you how many errors I've corrected so far.

I'm at the end of a 12 hour day- 7 at school and on the road, and 5 at work. Fittingly, Patsy Cline is singing "Crazy" right now. Heh.

The good news is that the teacher of my class today told me that she enjoys my comments and discussions in class. This is the class I was so worried about, too.

Now Randy Newman is singing "You Can Leave Your Hat On" which was the music for my favorite ad EVAR. It was a Norwegian (?) ad and the whole thing was shot from between a male stripper's legs. The camera is focused on a granny in a rocking chair-- white hair in a bun, floweredy dress with an apron, little glasses, the whole bit. The stripper gets to the final scrap of fabric (you see it float to earth) and granny leans forward in her chair, adjusts her glasses, and bursts into giggles. It's an ad for magnifying lenses.

Well, okay. Now that song's done, too, and Bach is playing. Very lovely, but it does make it easier for me to go to bed.

Ta, all.


Jun. 28th, 2006 08:12 pm
luciab: (Default)
Okay, it managed to not be a 12-hour day. Our class was out early-- we never got out early from her class last semester, so I can't count on that happening regularly. It was a good class-- I actually enjoyed it. Makes a difference when you've done the readings ahead of time. Amazing how that works.

I did everything that was waiting for me when I got to work, and still got done in 4 hours instead of 5. Good for me, since I'm still fried; I hope the supervisor who's anxious about my hours doesn't get all angsty on me. My supervisor is fine, and she's been very reassuring, so I'm not too worried. If I were, I think I could have cranked out another hour if I couled have found stuff to do-- sure there are books to be shelved or something. Anyway, I think part of the reason I'm tired is that I've relaxed now that I'm home.

I have a different class tomorrow, on library management. Somehow I don't have the hope that it'll be interesting. I like the teacher but he's gonna have a hell of a time making that interesting.


May. 30th, 2006 07:49 pm
luciab: (Default)
What a great event this weekend! When I got back I slept ten hours in my own comfy bed and I can still barely hold my eyes open, my head feels like it's stuffed with cotton wool, my back and legs feel like lead, and I didn't even have a sip of alcohol to blame it all on; despite all this it was still a great weekend. Read more... )

I'm teaching a class tomorrow at the library-- an hour and a half on how to set up and use an email account. From what I've seen of these classes, we'll probably need the whole hour and a half. I think some of the people who take these classes aren't as interested in actually doing these exotic things (surfing the web, reading newspapers online, using email) as they are in having something to do and friends to do it with. (Which is cool; I'm just sayin'...) And they get to feel like they're learning something, too. Hey, anything to help out, that's me.
luciab: (Default)
I am in the workroom, where I spend approximately 4 of the 5 hours I work every day. There is no window, and no connection to any other workspace. In other words, unless someone else is in the workroom, I am completely isolated the whole time. Most times there is a coworker back here, too, but at least one day a week, and several days over the last week or two, there has been nobody. Worst of all? I can't play internet radio and I HAVE NO MUSIC. Man, it makes a long day, even if it's only 5 hours.

In happier news, I saw the dermatologist today about an itchy spot on my back that was dark and irregularly shaped, and I had some trepidation about it. She said it was nothing to worry about and sprayed the HELL out of it with a freezing thing. Yay, me! It was a relief, especially since a friend just had a mass removed and then got one of Those Calls from the doctor; you know, where the nurse won't tell you anything but that you need to come in. Major anxiety.
luciab: (Default)
Ah! Justus1199 has the explanation for my illness. (See the cartoon at the bottom of the page.) Now all I have to do is figure out why the flu didn't show up till years after I had all my fun....

I was determined I would go to work today. But just to be safe, I looked up on the internet to find out how long the flu is contagious. I was pretty sure it was only like 3 or 4 days, so I'd be safe to go back. But NO. You are contagious as long as you have symptoms, according to two or three different sites. I wouldn't wish this crap on anyone, so I called in again. I talked to one of my supervisors, and I commented that if I did any ILL returns (a large part of my job) I could spread this crap all over the state, single handed. So, I'm home again today.

I asked Nia to bring me some books yesterday, before I realized if I was going back to work today I wouldn't have a lot of time to read them. Especially since I'm trying to read homework, too. My attention span is pretty short, though, so light reading breaks up the more serious stuff. I specifically asked for Chuck Palahniuk (here for the short version; here for the full effect.) I saw the movie Fight Club on my daughter's recommendation, without knowing anything about it. Then I randomly picked up an audio version of Diary for one of the trips to KY, and Amy saw it in the car at Christmas and commented on it. When she told me he was the same guy who wrote Fight Club, everything about the book suddenly made more sense, or at least I understood it better. Whew. So yesterday, Nia brought me the book of Fight Club. I'd forgotten a lot of the details of the movie, but the book also has an impact (so to speak) all its own. Very good, both of them. Now to read some of the others.

Until the fresh batch of books arrived, I was re-reading stuff I own. First I picked up Sue Grafton's A is for Alibi and it was okay. I enjoyed it, but it was like eating a cheap white bakery cake-- no substance, and I kept wanting something more. Well, maybe that's a little harsh-- I'd call her books breezy, but not quite fluffy. Then I pulled out one of Marcia Muller's Sharon McCone series, and I could tell the difference immediately. There is so much more to these books. I think they're more introspective, for one thing. She gets deeper into characters, and Sharon has a supporting cast that's like an ensemble of players, instead of her being a stand-alone player. There is also a long-range story arc that keeps me coming back for more. I was also vastly entertained to find that MM's hobby is making models of houses. The Photo Gallery on her site has several shots of models she's made of structures in the books. The bedroom in one of the pics has little tiny bras, undies, and high heels scattered about. How cool is that?

I'm off insearch of food. Not sure if I can handle any more of the chicken soup or not, but I'm mighty hungry. Foooooood.
luciab: (Default)
Wow. This flu thing has knocked me flat on my ass. I don't suppose it helps any that I've had a migraine the whole time, either. I thought I was going to try to go to work today, at least for a bit. Got all organized when I woke up and made a phone call that lasted 15 or 20 minutes-- and now I'm shaky all over. Just from sitting in my office chair, talking on the phone. It wasn't even an argumentative or stressful call, either. I'm almost embarrassed to call in sick again, but damn. I don't think I could walk up the three flights of stairs to get in, never mind going up and down a few more times delivering mail and distributing newpapers and periodicals.

The phone call was about the extension of the short-term disability. It turns out that they've approved it through June, but I can apply for another extension to take it through December of this year. The HR woman sounded like she thinks I have a good shot at the further extension-- the purpose is for me to try working part time (which I am) and see if I'm able to handle it. I need to tell them how much I make, and if it's more than the disability payment would be (Ha! As if) then they'll deduct it. Or something. That is SO impossible, given my salary, that the woman laughed when I told her what I'm making. Good thing I know I'm doing it for the experience and foot-in-the-door factor. It is true, though, that if I had to live on the student loan like I thought I would, it would provide food, which is always handy to have around. I also found out that there will be a retroactive payment to cover the month I didn't get one. Whew! I so have plans for that. I'll be checking my account daily to see if it's come in yet.

The cats have been delighted with my being home again for days on end, and even more so with the fact that I've been in bed most of the time. Even Carmen seems to have forgiven me for my absences and has been snuggling up again. I think I need to make an effort to pay attention to her when I'm home or else she's going to go all shy on me.

I think I'm going to have to retire to my bed now; I'm going all lightheaded again. This is downright embarrassing. Says she who walked around on a broken foot for two weeks before seeing a doctor.


Jan. 26th, 2006 05:30 pm
luciab: (Default)
I'm taking some nasty cold/flu thing. I thought it was just a cold but this afternoon I've been feeling feverish and my head's started hurting. Major ick. I slept for two hours this afternoon and do not dread the idea of going to bed tonight.

The up side is that it spurred me to make some vegetable soup. I have a love/hate thing with veg soup-- I don't usually like it but sometimes I feel like I need it, for whatever reason. Today it fell in the category of "comfort food that does not involve dairy products." Popcorn falls in there, too, but scratchy stuff on a sore throat, not so much. Anyway. I spent a long time thinking about what I don't like about veg soup, and came up with some ways around those things. And fortunately, the soup came out very well. I've had it for both lunch and dinner, and it was good. Instead of Mother's recipe, I added mushrooms, beef stock, and ground beef, and used rice instead of potatoes. I also threw in some basil. With my propensity for re-inventing things, I'm waiting for someone to tell me this is a famous soup that I just came up with. Anyway, it is good.

I have a new nickname at the office: Spike. I work for a woman with the same name as mine, and people were getting confused about which of us was being sought. It was usually her, of course, but if I was there it was still confusing. So Monday, one of my co-workers said "You need a nickname. We'll call you Spike." Here's the rest of the story that gave me such a turn when she said that. When K and I went to Pennsic the first time, it was our first event ever and we didn't have SCA names. We were camping with friends from Kentucky, and they said "You must have names! Spike and Fluffy. You're Spike (pointing at me,) and he (K) is Fluffy." And it stuck, because that's what they called us all week, and that's how they introduced us to people. So when my coworker came up with Spike, I had a "small world" moment and thought someone had told her the story. In this case, though, it wasn't me reinventing the wheel, but her. Heh.
luciab: (Default)
Interesting dream this morning, in a revealing sort of way. I had been to each of my classes once (which is true) but had also made a commitment to do set of architectural drawings for someone, on a freelance basis. I was in another architect's office; he was a local guy but seemed to be some sort of big name. (He was wearing a mango-colored slub-silk suit with "Elmore Leonard" embroidered across the left front, slightly above the waist, in letters about an inch and a half high. Pretty funny if you know Elmore Leonard's books.) We seemed to be fairly friendly and I was asking him for advice. I had it in my head that I would do just the "big picture" kind of drawings-- plans, elevations and sections, no construction stuff, no details. Instead he started listing all the details I'd need to include, drywall among them. (One day last week I watched a drywall detail guy spend over half an hour on a detail that no one will ever notice, and which is at least 10' above the floor. I was very impressed with his dedication.) I remember thinking that maybe he'd be supportive and help talk me through the rough spots; I was sure I had the knowledge to do the work. Maybe I'd even do so well that I'd stay in architecture instead of becoming a librarian.

Given that the architects I've worked for generally are NOT supportive about something like that (instead of ridiculing me because I didn't know something, or didn't draw it the way they would have,) I'm thinking this is a clear case of the devil you know being better than the one you don't. The other thing that's interesting is that I was doing the work freelance. If you recall, I spent several months last winter agonizing over whether to try to start a business before realizing that would be a terrible mistake. I'm not good at shmoozing, I'm not good at financial stuff. If all I had to do was the art part, and someone else handled drumming up the work and minding the business part, I'd be right there. I must be really anxious about school if I was having positive thoughts about that.

Anyway, I think the dream was worth it just to see that mango-yellow suit with "Elmore Leonard" embroidered across the front. Insert giggle here.
luciab: (Default)
I’ve been quietly painting along for the last couple of days. Just painting, with the TV or a movie playing. I tell ya, the TV is getting pretty old. Last time I was sitting here for a year painting, La Femme Nikita was in reruns on one of the cable channels, but there’s nothing so good on now. It’s all ER, Law and Order, American Justice, Cold Case Files and NYPD Blue, and I’ve seen all these episodes several times already. At least I’ve missed the ones with Sipowicz’s butt in them. Whew. That’d put me off my feed for a day or two. I did see a City Confidential I hadn’t seen before last week. I love the cheesy similes they sprinkle through the show like candles on an octegenarian’s birthday cake. This one said the woman was drawn to the man “like an SUV to a gas pump.” Heh.

Damn, people. This is pitiful. The Food channel makes me think about food, which isn’t exactly the plan when you want to lose instead of gain weight, and the Travel channel has an analogous effect for the broke. The History Channel has too much on WWII and too little on the middle ages. National Geographic has some good shows, but I have to watch out or I fall into a nest of Seconds From Disaster which I find very interesting, but it sure doesn’t help the whole depression factor. Dr G, Medical Examiner falls into that category, too. I’ve only seen a few episodes of Diagnosis Unknown but it seems to be pretty predictable—what kind of poison is it? Duh.

The movies haven’t been so great either. Yesterday I mentioned Where the Buffalo Roam. When I went to rent that, I also got Ray which is the first movie I’ve seen in a reasonably timely manner in ages. Problem is, I couldn’t get into it at all. I figured, with the music, how could I go wrong? Maybe I didn’t watch long enough but there wasn’t enough of the music to carry it, as far as I was concerned. Maybe I just wanted the music and not the biography; I dunno what I was thinking. Anyway, the woman who used to enjoy movies, almost any movies, has now struck out twice in a row.

In terms of the painting, though, the scroll is coming along nicely. It’s nearly done. It’s looking gooooood. Heh.

Still no word from the job interviewers. It’s been about three weeks, which really isn’t long for the state. I was talking to a friend the other day, who asked, Are you ready to go back to work? The question surprised me. Erk? Further questioning made me realize that she was asking me a really good question and that I’m not sure my automatic “of course” was accurate. Last month I thought the migraines were doing better, but this month I’ve maxed out all my pills again. The prescription-month I’ve just started isn’t off to such a hot start, either. All I can say is, the job is in the hands of a Higher Power, and if it’s supposed to work out it will. I feel kind of like a mooch not going to an office every day, but the migraines aren’t stopping. I think that I could manage a less stressful job but I don’t really know that, do I? And I won’t until it’s too late. I thought I really wanted the job but now I have to wonder. Maybe I do need to wait a while longer. If they offer it to me, though, I know I’ll take it. Drug myself to the gills and go. Whoopee! Pop those Imitrex! Max out the dopamax!

I’ve also made plans to go to Kentucky in March. I wrote to my brother and asked if there was a chance he could come in, too. I can’t think how many years it’s been since all of us have been together. That would be too wonderful for words. He wrote back and said his honey is scheduled to work, but that he’s trying to switch with someone so they can come. I sure hope that works out.

The kittens are being adorable and have actually slept in the office chair or on the table behind the painting surface for a fair amount of time during the last couple of days, thus allowing me to paint unimpeded. Wow. How great is that? Kitten affection interspersed with having both hands free to paint for several hours at a time. Miss Molly watches them when they play, and once or twice has even stretched out a paw like she’s considering playing with that paw sticking out from behind the door. So far she’s kept her dignity and reconsidered but I live in hope.

Tomorrow is Thursday, so I’ll be going to Ten Thousand Villages for a few hours. It makes a nice break in the week. Gets me out of the house and away from the reruns on TV. I can talk to real live two legged people, who will converse with me, instead of just the furry four legged kind, who will probably converse with me but not in a language I can understand. Wow. I do need to get out.


luciab: (Default)
Susan Arthur

February 2011



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