retail therapy
Jan. 25th, 2007 01:37 pmI think I may have this whole retail therapy thing wrong in my head.
Let me back up a minute-- I had my interview this AM with Social Security for my disability application. To clarify a murky situation, I have been approved for long-term disability from the state, which was my employer when I first had to leave work because of migraines. However, before the state will actually release any benefits to me, I have to send them a form saying I've applied for Social Security disability. Now as anyone who has ever read any of TranceJen's stories about her disability and application for SS benefits can tell you, there is no way in holy hell I will ever see one red cent from SS for my puny little migraines. I can still walk, talk, and function, after all. Still, it's a hoop that must be leapt through before I'll get the disability that IS reasonable.
I had an appointment at 10:45, and got there about 5 minutes early. After some initial misdirection, I got in to see the woman almost exactly on time. Once she stopped telling me I had made some mistake but it was okay, things perked along very smoothly. I'm still not sure why she had to go on about the mistake since she kept saying it was okay (and besides, it was the computer's mistake, not mine.)
I think my early experiences with Unemployment office people have set up my expectations of how government employees are going to act-- rude, suspicious, unhelpful and downright adversarial. (That was true in Iowa, Kentucky and NC, BTW.) Happy to say, the woman today wasn't like that, nor was the woman who I've talked with a few times on the phone. They were both very helpful and pleasant. What a relief. I was expecting to have to justify my very existence. Instead, she asked me a very few questions, apologized for some of them, explained everything, and was generally friendly. I was done in about 15 minutes. Woo hoo!
This excited me so much I decided to go shopping. See, from what I read about "retail therapy" it sounds like most people use shopping to cheer themselves up, but I'm the opposite. When I'm not happy, nothing looks or feels right, and I'm never satisfied; if I buy something anyway, it's always disastrously wrong. But since I was happy instead of depressed, I decided to go on and get a couple of pairs of shoes I've been meaning to get, but I'm never in the part of town where the store is. Today I was there, so now I have one new pair of Earth shoes, and one new pair of Dansko clogs. I wanted another pair of Earth shoes because I wore the ones I already have yesterday, and wasn't nearly as tired when I got home as I have been on other days. And I like the Danskos I have, and I've seen everybody and their brother wearing the clogs, and I had to at least try them on. Score!
I remembered to take my camera to the book repair shop this week, and took lots of photos. I'm still learning the camera, so I have some seriously fuzzy shots, and some where the camera was too close and the flash just washed everything out, but I got a lot I can use, too. I'll also try to replace the ones that are too fuzzy to use.
I volunteered at the local library again on Monday; I'm planning to be there for three hours on Mondays regularly. When I volunteered there before, it was like they were afraid to give me anything different to do, but after working there as a page they are more willing to trust me with a variety of work. I got sent to do all sorts of little things. It seemed to me like the place was hopping, but one of the librarians said it was about normal. Hell, I may have to go into tech services just to have a chance to sit down. They were running the entire time I was there.
And on the "I'm too old to be starting this!" line of thought, I had two people offer me their seats on the bus last week. Damn! I'm used to people telling me I look younger than I am, and suddenly I look so old people think I can't stand up for a few blocks? I must have looked really tired. Bad news is, one time it was in the morning. Yikes. I couldn't decide whether to be amused or horrified.
Okay, on that note, maybe I should take my walker and hobble off to do my homework. Which is just wrong; "walker" and "homework" never belong in the same sentence.
Let me back up a minute-- I had my interview this AM with Social Security for my disability application. To clarify a murky situation, I have been approved for long-term disability from the state, which was my employer when I first had to leave work because of migraines. However, before the state will actually release any benefits to me, I have to send them a form saying I've applied for Social Security disability. Now as anyone who has ever read any of TranceJen's stories about her disability and application for SS benefits can tell you, there is no way in holy hell I will ever see one red cent from SS for my puny little migraines. I can still walk, talk, and function, after all. Still, it's a hoop that must be leapt through before I'll get the disability that IS reasonable.
I had an appointment at 10:45, and got there about 5 minutes early. After some initial misdirection, I got in to see the woman almost exactly on time. Once she stopped telling me I had made some mistake but it was okay, things perked along very smoothly. I'm still not sure why she had to go on about the mistake since she kept saying it was okay (and besides, it was the computer's mistake, not mine.)
I think my early experiences with Unemployment office people have set up my expectations of how government employees are going to act-- rude, suspicious, unhelpful and downright adversarial. (That was true in Iowa, Kentucky and NC, BTW.) Happy to say, the woman today wasn't like that, nor was the woman who I've talked with a few times on the phone. They were both very helpful and pleasant. What a relief. I was expecting to have to justify my very existence. Instead, she asked me a very few questions, apologized for some of them, explained everything, and was generally friendly. I was done in about 15 minutes. Woo hoo!
This excited me so much I decided to go shopping. See, from what I read about "retail therapy" it sounds like most people use shopping to cheer themselves up, but I'm the opposite. When I'm not happy, nothing looks or feels right, and I'm never satisfied; if I buy something anyway, it's always disastrously wrong. But since I was happy instead of depressed, I decided to go on and get a couple of pairs of shoes I've been meaning to get, but I'm never in the part of town where the store is. Today I was there, so now I have one new pair of Earth shoes, and one new pair of Dansko clogs. I wanted another pair of Earth shoes because I wore the ones I already have yesterday, and wasn't nearly as tired when I got home as I have been on other days. And I like the Danskos I have, and I've seen everybody and their brother wearing the clogs, and I had to at least try them on. Score!
I remembered to take my camera to the book repair shop this week, and took lots of photos. I'm still learning the camera, so I have some seriously fuzzy shots, and some where the camera was too close and the flash just washed everything out, but I got a lot I can use, too. I'll also try to replace the ones that are too fuzzy to use.
I volunteered at the local library again on Monday; I'm planning to be there for three hours on Mondays regularly. When I volunteered there before, it was like they were afraid to give me anything different to do, but after working there as a page they are more willing to trust me with a variety of work. I got sent to do all sorts of little things. It seemed to me like the place was hopping, but one of the librarians said it was about normal. Hell, I may have to go into tech services just to have a chance to sit down. They were running the entire time I was there.
And on the "I'm too old to be starting this!" line of thought, I had two people offer me their seats on the bus last week. Damn! I'm used to people telling me I look younger than I am, and suddenly I look so old people think I can't stand up for a few blocks? I must have looked really tired. Bad news is, one time it was in the morning. Yikes. I couldn't decide whether to be amused or horrified.
Okay, on that note, maybe I should take my walker and hobble off to do my homework. Which is just wrong; "walker" and "homework" never belong in the same sentence.