weirdness

[luciab]

My mother just called to let me know the results of a visit to the eye doctor; she was diagnosed a few years back with very early macular degeneration and was concerned because she thought she might be seeing some distortion. Since Mother and Daddy are, as noted earlier, now 86 and 87, they felt it would be better for them to switch from doctors in Lexington, which is 30-45 minutes away, depending on the exact part of town, to doctors in Richmond. Mother had seen this doctor years ago, but in the interim had been seeing a doc in Lexington. When Dr. Millet walked in to the office today and saw Mother, she (the doctor) chewed Mother out royally. "You put me second," was one of her comments. Mother tried to explain that they wanted to switch to local doctors, and Dr Millet said "It's only 20 minutes up the road, and you've been driving it for 20 years!" She asked if Mother wanted her to finish the appointment; of course Mother said yes, since she already had drops in her eyes. The doc didn't say anything about Mother making another appointment. I told Mother that I would definitely be looking for another Doc, but Mother says everyone she knows sees this woman and likes her. The local paper does one of those "Best of" things, and this doc has taken "Best eye doctor" for umpteen years.... till this year. This year? Her ex-husband won. Heh. Mother is afraid to go to him, though, because what if she doesn't like him? And of course Dr Millet would know because it's such a small town, and then Mother wouldn't be able to go back to her.

Can I just say how seriously fucked this is? Who ever heard of a doctor chewing a patient out for seeing another doctor? And telling someone who is 87 years old they don't need local doctors but should go to one farther away?

I did tell Mother that I would be seriously concerned about Daddy driving to Lexington. I repeated it several times, with emphasis on seriously. I would be completely horrified to learn that he attempted such a thing. They're both so damned independent that they won't ask anyone else to take them unless Daddy is totally incapacitated.

I am so indignant that I am tempted to call the doctor myself. Except of course, then Mother couldn't go back to her again. I hate small towns. This kind of crap is why.

Comments

[margaretc.livejournal.com]

I would seriously consider writing to the Ky. medical board.
The whole medical profession needs more feedback, in my not-so-humble opinion.

[nikulai.livejournal.com]

I have to agree - I would say that the doctor's behavior was reprehensible at best and possibly a violation of the code of ethics.

[anonamys.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that is seriously fucked up. That woman definitely needs a good talking to. But, since that wouldn't help us in this situation...

I had an idea in the wee hours of the morning.

Call and talk to her (or leave voice mail, if that's possible, but a message taken won't work). Explain who you are. Say that you are really, really worried about them driving, it's just not safe for them to drive at all. (Maybe throw in a comment about their age or Popaw's hip fracture.) Say how much Momaw really likes going to see her, that you've heard she's just the best. Then ask her to facilitate getting Momaw transitioned to someone closer--you just *know* she would know someone good, and you are very worried...

In other words, lots of flattery and regret that Momaw has to change. Lots of emphasis on safety. So even if it doesn't work, Momaw can go back (not that I want her to, this woman sounds like the kind to prey on people) without worrying about what she thinks of her.

(Although I'm a little confused--this woman is in Richmond? Is she easy to get to, but just a royal bitch? So maybe this isn't a relevant comment at all.)

[luciab.livejournal.com]

Perfectly relevant, and excellent ideas. Yes, she's in Richmond. Mother liked her when she saw her 20 years ago; no idea why they started going to the doc in Lexington. Mother said this time she seemed to get over her snit in a bit and was perfectly friendly but never did say anything about Mother making another appointment.

I think your idea is a good one. Now to get up the nerve.