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The devil you know
Jan. 15th, 2006 09:31 amInteresting dream this morning, in a revealing sort of way. I had been to each of my classes once (which is true) but had also made a commitment to do set of architectural drawings for someone, on a freelance basis. I was in another architect's office; he was a local guy but seemed to be some sort of big name. (He was wearing a mango-colored slub-silk suit with "Elmore Leonard" embroidered across the left front, slightly above the waist, in letters about an inch and a half high. Pretty funny if you know Elmore Leonard's books.) We seemed to be fairly friendly and I was asking him for advice. I had it in my head that I would do just the "big picture" kind of drawings-- plans, elevations and sections, no construction stuff, no details. Instead he started listing all the details I'd need to include, drywall among them. (One day last week I watched a drywall detail guy spend over half an hour on a detail that no one will ever notice, and which is at least 10' above the floor. I was very impressed with his dedication.) I remember thinking that maybe he'd be supportive and help talk me through the rough spots; I was sure I had the knowledge to do the work. Maybe I'd even do so well that I'd stay in architecture instead of becoming a librarian.
Given that the architects I've worked for generally are NOT supportive about something like that (instead of ridiculing me because I didn't know something, or didn't draw it the way they would have,) I'm thinking this is a clear case of the devil you know being better than the one you don't. The other thing that's interesting is that I was doing the work freelance. If you recall, I spent several months last winter agonizing over whether to try to start a business before realizing that would be a terrible mistake. I'm not good at shmoozing, I'm not good at financial stuff. If all I had to do was the art part, and someone else handled drumming up the work and minding the business part, I'd be right there. I must be really anxious about school if I was having positive thoughts about that.
Anyway, I think the dream was worth it just to see that mango-yellow suit with "Elmore Leonard" embroidered across the front. Insert giggle here.
Given that the architects I've worked for generally are NOT supportive about something like that (instead of ridiculing me because I didn't know something, or didn't draw it the way they would have,) I'm thinking this is a clear case of the devil you know being better than the one you don't. The other thing that's interesting is that I was doing the work freelance. If you recall, I spent several months last winter agonizing over whether to try to start a business before realizing that would be a terrible mistake. I'm not good at shmoozing, I'm not good at financial stuff. If all I had to do was the art part, and someone else handled drumming up the work and minding the business part, I'd be right there. I must be really anxious about school if I was having positive thoughts about that.
Anyway, I think the dream was worth it just to see that mango-yellow suit with "Elmore Leonard" embroidered across the front. Insert giggle here.
